Trauma Archives - Cari Kenzie

Unboxing My Tiffany: A Journey from Boston’s Aftermath to Quantum Healing

NGMKTG on October 3, 2022

In the blindingly bright summer of 2013, while the world watched in horror at the Boston Marathon bombing, my own personal journey unfurled. A journey that, believe it or not, wasn’t just about the broken bones and shrapnel of that fateful day but the intricate tapestry of mind and body, knotted by every twist and turn of life.

A Mysterious Ailment

Post-Boston, my body turned into a living conundrum. Despite numerous doctor visits, every imaginable test, and clinic hopping, the diagnosis was unfailingly bleak: “It’s probably depression.” In layman’s terms? “We don’t know.” I was familiar with the physical discomforts brought on by life’s stressors: the tension headaches, the grief-induced heartbreak, or the anxiety of peak hour traffic. But this? This was something deeper, something more elusive.

You’re Not Your Sedan

Growing up, the go-to mantra for health was akin to auto repair: find the glitch, patch it up, move on. This is the same approach I took post-Boston. The symptoms? Think muscle cramps so intense they’d fossilize me, or heart palpitations that felt like a jazz drum solo. Worst of all was the insomnia – the kind that had me pop five prescription pills and yet find myself staring at the ceiling hours later.

Emotions Aren’t for Hoarding

As the years ticked by, I made a profound realization. Maybe these physical torments were echoes of unshed tears and unspoken words. For, Boston was not my sole brush with trauma. Lost jobs, the demise of beloved ones, and the heart-wrenching stillbirth of my daughter were all chapters in my story. Like most, I mourned, I grieved, and then… I moved on. Or so I thought.

In a recent award acceptance, Selena Gomez’s words rang true: “I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside.” And like her, I too packed away my pain, in imaginary yet exquisite Tiffany boxes. Why Tiffany? Because we all have that one luxury we fantasize about unboxing!

The Great Spillover

However, I soon learned that emotions, unlike heirlooms, aren’t for hoarding. The energy of the suppressed pain and trauma rattled within me. It manifested in maladies and anxieties, all trying to get my attention. Just like that one colleague who won’t stop pinging you until you reply.

And then I stumbled upon the paradigm of quantum healing.

The Quantum Detour

Quantum healing believes in a simple yet profound notion: everything is energy. To truly heal, one has to delve deeper, beyond the superficial symptoms, and find the root. One could heal a cold or a sprain, but unless one unearths the emotional cause, the body will find another way to scream for attention. A sprained ankle today could be a throbbing migraine tomorrow.

This invites the daunting yet enticing prospect of diving into the maze of one’s psyche. This is the true healing: a dance between the mental, emotional, and spiritual facets of oneself.

Your Path Awaits

Today, as I pen this down, I stand at the intersection of my past traumas and future potential, extending an invitation. If you too, like me, yearn to break free, to transform into the most brilliant version of yourself, remember – your path through curiosity, through self-introspection, through quantum healing, is open.

So, are you ready to unbox your Tiffany?

The Quest for Clarity: Why Unclouding Ourselves is Crucial for Helping Others

NGMKTG on September 8, 2022

If you’ve ever stumbled through the labyrinth of self-discovery, you’d know the walls are often built from bricks of past trauma, hurt, and experiences. While some find themselves lost within, others quest tirelessly to find clarity. Here’s my journey through this maze and why I believe everyone should embark on it too.

Navigating The Murky Waters of the Past

When I first dipped my toes into the realms of personal growth, it was like diving into deep waters without a map. But why did I dive? Close ones frequently pondered, “Why this insatiable hunger for classes and answers? Aren’t you drained from the relentless curiosity?” The truth? I was on a mission – not just for knowledge but for becoming a conduit of clarity.

Even when I didn’t know where the compass pointed, my heart knew its ultimate destination: to become the clearest vessel possible. My dream? To be the beacon of hope for people lost in their own journeys.

The Difference Clarity Can Make

Wouldn’t the world be a tad more compassionate if everyone could tune into their rawest, most authentic selves? This isn’t about turning into therapists overnight but about being there, truly present, for someone sharing their story.

Without the baggage of our past clouding our perception, we can see them in their purest light. Reflect back love, compassion, understanding. But with our unresolved triggers, we unwittingly hijack their narrative. Suddenly, it’s our record that’s playing, our trauma overshadowing theirs. Instead of guiding them through their maze, we become trapped in ours.

When The Record Skips a Beat

Picture this: someone confides in you, and as you listen, it’s like a record smoothly playing their story. Suddenly, they touch upon a sore spot in your past. The needle screeches, jolting the record back to the beginning. The conversation has now entered a perilous zone – your discomfort. And just like that, an opportunity to guide is lost in the echoes of old wounds.

If we wish to serve, truly serve, we must journey through our internal landscapes. Face every lurking shadow, every repressed memory. It demands courage, grit, and a dollop of stubbornness. But it’s worth every teardrop.

From Personal Struggles to Collective Healing

My journey began from a place of anguish, lying awake at 4 A.M., cursing a sleeping world while wrestling with insomnia. My nights were long, plagued by frustration. But it’s this very pain that ignited my pursuit of healing.

And as I unraveled the threads of my experiences, I discovered a profound truth. If I could heal, I could help others heal. My vision became clear: to be the friend who listens without judgment, the individual who sees the inherent beauty in all.

A New Reflection Awaits

Often, our mirror reflections are distorted by past tragedies, limiting beliefs, and emotions. They hold us hostage, preventing us from recognizing our true selves. It’s a static picture. To witness our authentic selves, we must embark on the arduous journey of peeling back the layers.

One scab at a time, consistently, until the reflection transforms. And what we then see is the radiant essence of a clear vessel.

Are you ready to embark on your journey of clarity? Remember, the path to helping others often begins with understanding ourselves.

The Hidden Stories of Trauma: A Guide to Overcoming Trauma

NGMKTG on September 6, 2022

Ah, life. It can be a tad dramatic, can’t it? Sometimes, like the love child of a soap opera and an action film, life throws the unexpected our way. And that’s when the resilience of the human spirit shines. But today, let’s dive deep into a less-discussed side of the human experience: overcoming trauma. Not just the event itself, but its lingering effects.

The Silent Battles of Trauma’s Aftermath

The real tragedy of trauma isn’t the moment it occurs, but the silent battles we fight in its aftermath. It’s like that song you can’t get out of your head, constantly reminding you of its presence, often at the most inconvenient times. You see, I survived the Boston bombing. And for the longest time, I thought I was just a bystander, a mere spectator to the horrific event. But the truth? My mind and body told a different story. It was as if my psyche had taken a raincheck during the event, only to send reminders in the form of mental and physical tolls over the years.

The Undertow of Unresolved Emotions

And, of course, I’m not the only one. Some incredibly strong women who were part of that day still grapple with its memories. We often talk about not letting the villains of that day ‘win’. But here’s the catch: while saying it, their emotions tell a different tale. Tears held back. Voices choked up. A tumultuous wave of emotions trapped, waiting to manifest. Imagine it this way: the unresolved emotions are like an undertow, an unexpected force that drags you in a direction you never intended to go. It lingers beneath, occasionally pulling you down, reminding you of its presence.

Facing the Past to Embrace the Future

So, what’s the antidote? Well, it’s not as simple as one might hope. Dealing with trauma is like going through your attic and discovering an old, dusty photo album. As much as you might want to just close it and forget about it, you have to face those memories to understand the person you’ve become. Many a time, people tell me, “I don’t want to revisit it.” And you know what? I get it. Why would anyone willingly step back into a dark chapter of their life? But here’s the zinger: it’s not the traumatic event that’s the real enemy; it’s the fear of facing it. The shadow it casts over the present. You see, we’ve already lived through the trauma. But the unresolved feelings? They’re the real troublemakers.

To heal, sometimes we’ve got to rip off the bandage, look the wound in the eye, and acknowledge it. Yes, it’s going to hurt. Yes, it might bring a flood of memories. But only by confronting it can we truly move forward.

Because, my friends, we’re not just survivors of our stories; we’re the heroes of them. And every hero deserves a chance to find peace, reclaim power, and pen a brighter chapter. 🌟

Unraveling the Mind Maze: The Harry Potter Guide to Self-Discovery

NGMKTG on August 23, 2022

Wingardium Leviosa! Alright, I won’t actually make you float, but let’s embark on a magical journey together. If you, like me, find solace in the whimsical world of Hogwarts, you’re familiar with the challenges Harry and his friends face. Today, I’m taking a page out of The Goblet of Fire to decode our very own ‘Triwizard Tournament’ – navigating the maze of our minds.

🌌 Understanding the Mind: More Maze, Less Straight Line 🌌

When life throws us curveballs, our initial instinct is to connect the dots in a linear fashion. A happened, so B must be the result. But just as you wouldn’t expect Harry to fetch the Triwizard Cup with a mere Accio, addressing our inner complexities isn’t straightforward. I argue that every experience we face is an entryway into the intricate labyrinth of our thoughts and perceptions.

Rather than viewing situations as isolated events, picture them as part of an expansive spiderweb, weaving together memories, emotions, and past traumas. To truly understand, we must venture to the source: the genesis of that misperception, wound, or limiting belief.

🧭 The Conversational Compass: Pointing Left or Right? 🧭

Many times, I find myself in enlightening conversations with my clients. They start off discussing their weekends or recent encounters, but eventually, they arrive at their core concern. A persistent feeling, a troubling work situation, or a gnawing unease. My role? To help them delve deep into their psyche.

When a client expresses feelings of being overlooked or unheard, I prod, “Recall the last time you felt this way?” With every response, we decide which direction to take in this mental maze.

Whether it’s a buried high school memory or an overlooked suggestion at a workplace, our journey always seems to navigate back to a pivotal moment – the very first time they felt unseen or disregarded.

🧶 Pulling the Thread: The Aha! Moment 🧶

Imagine finding that one thread connecting an intricate tapestry of experiences. By tracing back to that formative moment, we not only identify but also grasp it. This understanding acts as our wand, and with a gentle tug, the entire maze unravels. Suddenly, a panoramic view of interconnected experiences emerges.

That originating moment is the keystone. It provides an opportunity to delve deep, to uncover the source of that emotional blockade so that its hold can finally be relinquished.

🌟 Clearing the Path: The Magic of Self-Realization 🌟

The concept of the mind maze isn’t foreign. We’re aware of our mind’s capacity to twist, turn, and occasionally lead us astray. Yet, many a time, we don’t permit ourselves to join the dots, or when the need arises, to disentangle them.

But remember, every maze, no matter how convoluted, has an exit. And just like Harry and his friends, with perseverance, courage, and a little bit of magic (or introspection!), we too can emerge victoriously.

So, the next time you find yourself lost amidst the hedgerows of doubt or confusion, summon your inner Potterhead. Traverse that maze, pull that thread, and rediscover yourself in the process. After all, as Dumbledore wisely said, “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Now, where’s my Firebolt? 🧹✨

Optimize your journey of self-discovery with a sprinkle of magic and a dash of introspection. If you enjoyed this piece or have your own maze you’re eager to navigate, drop a comment below or reach out. Let’s make magic together!

From Grief to Generational Healing: The Lessons Shadow Taught Us

NGMKTG on August 15, 2022

In the face of life’s trials, like the aftermath of the Boston bombing and personal health challenges, there are often unexpected sources of resilience and growth. One such source for our family was a four-legged friend named Shadow.

In the chaotic whirlwind post-Boston bombing, my health took a mysterious turn for the worse. Insomnia, muscle spasms, and a plethora of medical appointments became my reality. Yet, amidst this turbulence, a beacon of hope named Shadow bounded into our lives, especially uplifting my son who was battling anxiety and depression.

But 2018’s summer heralded a tragic twist. During a family camping trip, Shadow’s sudden departure in the sweltering heat left us devastated. Drowning in guilt and self-blame, I sought solace in meditation for healing.

Often dismissed as “woo-woo,” meditation became my lifeline, offering insights and clarity about Shadow’s final moments. What unfolded next was surreal. My son’s reflections mirrored mine, hinting at the profound power of generational healing.

Shadow’s passing illuminated the undeniable connections binding us, emphasizing our inherent ability to heal and transcend challenges. His legacy underscores that trials are transformative lessons, guiding us towards deeper understanding and resilience.

From the Finish Line to the Starting Line: My Boston Marathon Journey Through Trauma

Cari Rosno on August 9, 2022

On April 15, 2013, my triumphant finish at the Boston Marathon was drowned by the deafening roar of a bomb. As I took refuge in the medical tent, the world outside was collapsing, and the weight of the trauma was just settling in.

Here’s a universal truth: Our perception of the present is deeply rooted in our past. That bombing in Boston? It wasn’t just a moment for me. It altered the course of my emotional journey.

I’ll never forget being asked, “Where were you when the bombing occurred?” On the surface, a simple inquiry, but for me, it unveiled a whirlpool of mixed emotions. An inner voice murmured, ‘It’s not your story to tell.’ Because, yes, I wasn’t physically wounded, but does that make my trauma any less valid?

It’s a common pitfall many of us encounter: juxtaposing our traumas against others, unintentionally downplaying our own pain. Phrases like “It’s just a first-world problem” or “I was merely a bystander” often cloud our self-assessment. Remember being told, “There are starving children in Africa”? It’s that same voice that asks you to undermine your own experiences.

Though the scars weren’t visible, my mind was a battleground. Vivid, haunting replays of that day lingered. Yet with every replay, shame, guilt, and denial surged anew.

Addressing trauma isn’t about focusing on fragmented memories, but rather embracing a panoramic view of the entire event. I had to navigate my feelings, from the survivor’s guilt of leaving the tent to the emotional aftershocks that followed. This 360-degree approach, zooming out to a comprehensive perspective, is what makes healing truly transformative.

Confronting my trauma was like peeling an onion. With each layer, I unearthed another, yet every layer brought me closer to understanding and healing.

While traditional therapies sometimes skim the surface, focusing on individual memories, the secret lies in diving deep, getting to the heart of the matter. The goal? Clearing out the clutter, shedding the burdens that have overstayed their welcome.

If the shadows of the past cloud your present, know this: seeking help is the first step towards rediscovering yourself. The exhilaration of freedom, of breaking the chains, is an experience unlike any other.

So, reach out. Begin your journey towards liberation. And remember, it’s not about where you start, but where you’re headed.